RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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