either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
