his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
