Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
