In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I don't think brook has ever known best
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
