Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
that's an acceptable place to lick
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
