we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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