he thought i was a dude.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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