sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
