how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
did i just pee glitter
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize