Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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