Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
