i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
There are leaves in my underwear?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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