A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize