I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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