The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
