Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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