It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The power of my boobs compel you
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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