We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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