Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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