3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
