You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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