I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
