I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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