dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
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Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
