Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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