seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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