woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a squirter
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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