wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize