she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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