I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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