Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
