whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
