mondays should just be called national damage control day
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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