So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
