You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
