Don't you send me to vm
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize