thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years