Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
