Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize