i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
