when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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