its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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