Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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