I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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