We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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