My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
