Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
