I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize