Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
