like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
