A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
