I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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