she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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