Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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