Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
