I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
