i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
