I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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