and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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