i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.