Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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