you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
