i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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